Thank you Sebastian for this posting. Absolutely agree with your insights on this topic. It’s also incredibly damaging to see introverts trying (and failing) to be extroverts so they can make it in an environment where “fake it till you make it” prevails. Expertise and the ability to share it to your peers should instil confidence to be yourself.
Great example Paula of a introvert person trying to fake it as an extrovert just because someone believes that it's more desirable to be an extrovert. We go back to being authentic...you're an introvert, be an introvert, you're an extrovert..so be it... just be honest of who you really are.
I agree with you, Sebastian, that the problem of the modern society centred around social media is that the people who should be listening are mostly talking, and the ones who should be talking and have indeed a lot to say are mostly staying silent. To me, the concept of “fake it till you make it” is like a temporary band aid for the ego employed by people who are afraid to acknowledge their weaknesses and shortcomings and work on them. I did observe from my humble experiences that it is very easy to destabilize that “confident” facade, especially when things don’t go the way the ego desires. It’s only natural because life doesn’t wait around choosing only the situations that match the “facade”; it just throws whatever it has, and it’s only a person not afraid to fall, understand their limitations, learn, and lift themselves up again, who will be in the winning position.
I like your analysis of the reasons why “fake it till you make it“ is psychologically damaging. I still believe, maybe naively, that quality and depth are going to withstand the test of time and people will learn to differentiate between “quick fix” techniques and long lasting authentic and genuine approaches to build themselves up. Thank you, Sebastian, for starting this series of posts, looking forward to the next one!
Thank you Oksana! As I said, there is an element of truth to the fact that even if you don’t know yet or have all it takes to deal with a situation, you still can push through as if you knew how to do it to gain confidence and learn as you go... however as a mantra to deal with life situations I find it not a truth I find useful to live by... confidence gets confused with faking and to me the biggest risk is... when do you know it’s over? When will you be vulnerable and genuine? The risk is Never
I totally agree! We don't know everything in every situation but we need to stay humble and admit it instead of being dishonest about it. Pushing through, learning, adapting, asking for helps, things you mentioned in your writing are what we need to be successful. Confidence is not something that magically appears after you fake it 😀
I believe too Oksana that one day we will encourage quality and depth and interact with each other by bringing forward the authentic self with both strength and weaknesses and that we will celebrate the strengths and acknowledge and work on the weaknesses. No point to fake anything...the truth will prevail always.
Thank you for writing this Sebastian and for how clear you captured the damages to oneself and not only when adopting this attitude. Pretending to be someone you're not or pretending to have the skills and knowledge you don't have shows a lack of respect towards yourself, towards the people around you who you deceive and also show a lack of a core values which is honesty, self awareness, respect, etc.
I already like the Contrarian section and can't wait to see what the next topic will be. Reading this piece I can say out loud "finally someone addressed this!!!" 😀 I heard this expression soon after I arrived to the North American continent and started looking for jobs. I wasn't sure what exactly I needed to fake since my belief was that my resume based in real facts, my schooling and work experience should be enough for anyone looking to hire me. During the years I saw people faking it, meaning having jobs on their CVs they have never done and giving for references the names of their friends pretending to be their former boss. Dishonesty is the first word that comes into my mind... you can't start anything valuable with a lie either in your professional or personal life.
I can relate to your experiences, Minodora. I had the same confusion in my first year in Canada 😊 I never found this “faking” method appealing and I knew I wouldn’t be good at it anyway 😆
Thank you Sebastian for this posting. Absolutely agree with your insights on this topic. It’s also incredibly damaging to see introverts trying (and failing) to be extroverts so they can make it in an environment where “fake it till you make it” prevails. Expertise and the ability to share it to your peers should instil confidence to be yourself.
Thank you Paula!
Great example Paula of a introvert person trying to fake it as an extrovert just because someone believes that it's more desirable to be an extrovert. We go back to being authentic...you're an introvert, be an introvert, you're an extrovert..so be it... just be honest of who you really are.
I agree with you, Sebastian, that the problem of the modern society centred around social media is that the people who should be listening are mostly talking, and the ones who should be talking and have indeed a lot to say are mostly staying silent. To me, the concept of “fake it till you make it” is like a temporary band aid for the ego employed by people who are afraid to acknowledge their weaknesses and shortcomings and work on them. I did observe from my humble experiences that it is very easy to destabilize that “confident” facade, especially when things don’t go the way the ego desires. It’s only natural because life doesn’t wait around choosing only the situations that match the “facade”; it just throws whatever it has, and it’s only a person not afraid to fall, understand their limitations, learn, and lift themselves up again, who will be in the winning position.
I like your analysis of the reasons why “fake it till you make it“ is psychologically damaging. I still believe, maybe naively, that quality and depth are going to withstand the test of time and people will learn to differentiate between “quick fix” techniques and long lasting authentic and genuine approaches to build themselves up. Thank you, Sebastian, for starting this series of posts, looking forward to the next one!
Thank you Oksana! As I said, there is an element of truth to the fact that even if you don’t know yet or have all it takes to deal with a situation, you still can push through as if you knew how to do it to gain confidence and learn as you go... however as a mantra to deal with life situations I find it not a truth I find useful to live by... confidence gets confused with faking and to me the biggest risk is... when do you know it’s over? When will you be vulnerable and genuine? The risk is Never
I totally agree! We don't know everything in every situation but we need to stay humble and admit it instead of being dishonest about it. Pushing through, learning, adapting, asking for helps, things you mentioned in your writing are what we need to be successful. Confidence is not something that magically appears after you fake it 😀
Agree Minodora!!
I believe too Oksana that one day we will encourage quality and depth and interact with each other by bringing forward the authentic self with both strength and weaknesses and that we will celebrate the strengths and acknowledge and work on the weaknesses. No point to fake anything...the truth will prevail always.
Thank you for writing this Sebastian and for how clear you captured the damages to oneself and not only when adopting this attitude. Pretending to be someone you're not or pretending to have the skills and knowledge you don't have shows a lack of respect towards yourself, towards the people around you who you deceive and also show a lack of a core values which is honesty, self awareness, respect, etc.
Thanks for the feedback.
I already like the Contrarian section and can't wait to see what the next topic will be. Reading this piece I can say out loud "finally someone addressed this!!!" 😀 I heard this expression soon after I arrived to the North American continent and started looking for jobs. I wasn't sure what exactly I needed to fake since my belief was that my resume based in real facts, my schooling and work experience should be enough for anyone looking to hire me. During the years I saw people faking it, meaning having jobs on their CVs they have never done and giving for references the names of their friends pretending to be their former boss. Dishonesty is the first word that comes into my mind... you can't start anything valuable with a lie either in your professional or personal life.
I can relate to your experiences, Minodora. I had the same confusion in my first year in Canada 😊 I never found this “faking” method appealing and I knew I wouldn’t be good at it anyway 😆