I agree with Mr. Stockdale’s statement that “Character is permanent. Issues are transient”... On the other hand, it is issues that form the character. Only during the toughest times can we truly see who we are, what are our abilities and limitations. As transient as they are, issues create a permanent foundation for the development and growth of the character. A lot of people decide to shy away from their issues, choosing the path of false optimism as you well described it in your article. It’s equivalent to a state of continuous denial, which inevitably will result in a mental breakdown. I personally am a big supporter of a concept of “distinguishing realism”, a mental ability to assign appropriate levels of emotional response to various challenges... and to simply follow a Nike’s rule “Just do it” :)) I always remember an old Eastern European joke that differentiates the two concepts very well: “An optimist sees a light in the end of the tunnel. A realist sees that it’s actually a train moving towards them”...
I agree with everything you say, simply that if I fine tune your initial statement, I’d say that it is not the issues that form the character but our response to those issues what forges our character. The only reason why I believe matters is because we cannot control or foresee the issues we will encounter, but we can predict and work on the type of responses we may have in life even without know what will happen. It is as if we cannot control and anticipate the “what”, but we can dedicate our life to improve our “how”
I agree with your clarification to what Oksana wrote. I see character versus how we deal with life challenges or issues as two separate things. "Character is the very essence of what we are and is formed by a collection of core values and moral attributes which define our pattern of behaviour" (I read this recently but describe exactly what I think character is). How we deal with issues, our attitude or response to them add layers to the character we already have...we can say they grow our character.
That is a very accurate clarification, Sebastian. Thank you. I’ve always wondered whether our “how” is predetermined, and if so, is it predetermined by our genetics or by our environment. Up until recently, behavioural genetics was operating in a dual mode of “nature” vs “nurture”. However, I think the new model of thinking is more appropriate, where complex human behavior is defined as a triangle of three systems of learning and memory, i.e. associative conditioning (how we Learn to react automatically), intentionality (our goals, social cooperation), and self-awareness. I think when responding to any issue, it’s important to gauge the response against all three components. False optimism, for example, could be detected during a self-awareness check. But that’s another discussion topic :) The question is... how do we improve our “how”? Do you have insights on this question that you were planning to share with us? :)
Great feedback and insightful comments Oksana! The how is practically everything! I will take your suggestion and will craft something along those lines in a future post. But what is clear is that a good what with a bad how in general does not take you far... people do not want to be around bad Hows no matter how right you are... in general terms.
Happy New Year, Sebastian! Thank you for dedicating your time to the work on Leadership Reflections. It is a truly amazing platform to make a pause from our busy lives and take a look at a bigger picture...
Hi Oksana, I decided to write something this week focused a bit on the What and the How... thought of your ask few weeks ago. It is short and simple but hope it brings some perspective to the importance of the How!
Absolutely! Balance is a key word in all aspects of life and having self awareness and seeing the world around us as it truly is. I think we struggle to understand the real "us" because lots of subjectivity is involved, along so many other differen things such as culture, personally, background, etc. It's challenging to find a balance here as some people see themselves greater than they really are and others see themselves less than they really are. Have you had any challenge in finding balance in life?
Yes Sebastian! Always. Happy New Year to Leadership reflections! It's still a baby but growing stronger every day. I really appreciate the time you put into this platform and the reflection and learning opportunities we have here. I hope it gives you as much joy as it gives us.
I haven't heard about the Stockdale paradox until today but I agree that optimism not backed up by reality remains just a "good to have" personality trait. Sometimes Reality is hard to acknowledge and accept so we choose to cover it up with the warm, fuzzy, pink blanket called optimism. I'm an optimistic person by nature and I wouldn't change that but I've always added lots of common sense and reality to it. When dealing with life challenges it helps to have faith and believe that everything will turn out just great but we are still responsible for making that positive outcome possible by taking action, writing our own future, building resilience, planning and executing the way out of the challenge in order to come out stronger.
Happy New Year Sebastian! Wishing you lots of health, happiness, never ending passion, focus and determination for everything you want to accomplish this year and beyond ✨️
Very important to balance the faith in oneself that things can be overcome, with the self-awareness discipline to understand who one really is and what is really happening around us, to be able to modify that reality in a positive way
I agree with Mr. Stockdale’s statement that “Character is permanent. Issues are transient”... On the other hand, it is issues that form the character. Only during the toughest times can we truly see who we are, what are our abilities and limitations. As transient as they are, issues create a permanent foundation for the development and growth of the character. A lot of people decide to shy away from their issues, choosing the path of false optimism as you well described it in your article. It’s equivalent to a state of continuous denial, which inevitably will result in a mental breakdown. I personally am a big supporter of a concept of “distinguishing realism”, a mental ability to assign appropriate levels of emotional response to various challenges... and to simply follow a Nike’s rule “Just do it” :)) I always remember an old Eastern European joke that differentiates the two concepts very well: “An optimist sees a light in the end of the tunnel. A realist sees that it’s actually a train moving towards them”...
I agree with everything you say, simply that if I fine tune your initial statement, I’d say that it is not the issues that form the character but our response to those issues what forges our character. The only reason why I believe matters is because we cannot control or foresee the issues we will encounter, but we can predict and work on the type of responses we may have in life even without know what will happen. It is as if we cannot control and anticipate the “what”, but we can dedicate our life to improve our “how”
I agree with your clarification to what Oksana wrote. I see character versus how we deal with life challenges or issues as two separate things. "Character is the very essence of what we are and is formed by a collection of core values and moral attributes which define our pattern of behaviour" (I read this recently but describe exactly what I think character is). How we deal with issues, our attitude or response to them add layers to the character we already have...we can say they grow our character.
That is a very interesting distinction, Minodora. Thank you. Food for thought...
That is a very accurate clarification, Sebastian. Thank you. I’ve always wondered whether our “how” is predetermined, and if so, is it predetermined by our genetics or by our environment. Up until recently, behavioural genetics was operating in a dual mode of “nature” vs “nurture”. However, I think the new model of thinking is more appropriate, where complex human behavior is defined as a triangle of three systems of learning and memory, i.e. associative conditioning (how we Learn to react automatically), intentionality (our goals, social cooperation), and self-awareness. I think when responding to any issue, it’s important to gauge the response against all three components. False optimism, for example, could be detected during a self-awareness check. But that’s another discussion topic :) The question is... how do we improve our “how”? Do you have insights on this question that you were planning to share with us? :)
Great feedback and insightful comments Oksana! The how is practically everything! I will take your suggestion and will craft something along those lines in a future post. But what is clear is that a good what with a bad how in general does not take you far... people do not want to be around bad Hows no matter how right you are... in general terms.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Sebastian! Thank you for dedicating your time to the work on Leadership Reflections. It is a truly amazing platform to make a pause from our busy lives and take a look at a bigger picture...
So glad it feels this way Oksana! I feel humbled to have this opportunity
Hi Oksana, I decided to write something this week focused a bit on the What and the How... thought of your ask few weeks ago. It is short and simple but hope it brings some perspective to the importance of the How!
Thank you, Sebastian :) Indeed, it made me pause and reflect on the ways I apply the Whats and the Hows... Such reflections are much needed.
Thank you Oksana! I appreciate your feedback and comments!
Absolutely! Balance is a key word in all aspects of life and having self awareness and seeing the world around us as it truly is. I think we struggle to understand the real "us" because lots of subjectivity is involved, along so many other differen things such as culture, personally, background, etc. It's challenging to find a balance here as some people see themselves greater than they really are and others see themselves less than they really are. Have you had any challenge in finding balance in life?
Hi Minodora... yes, the challenge to balance is constant... but one works to fine tune, adapt, grow.
Yes Sebastian! Always. Happy New Year to Leadership reflections! It's still a baby but growing stronger every day. I really appreciate the time you put into this platform and the reflection and learning opportunities we have here. I hope it gives you as much joy as it gives us.
It’s an honor!! 🙏
I haven't heard about the Stockdale paradox until today but I agree that optimism not backed up by reality remains just a "good to have" personality trait. Sometimes Reality is hard to acknowledge and accept so we choose to cover it up with the warm, fuzzy, pink blanket called optimism. I'm an optimistic person by nature and I wouldn't change that but I've always added lots of common sense and reality to it. When dealing with life challenges it helps to have faith and believe that everything will turn out just great but we are still responsible for making that positive outcome possible by taking action, writing our own future, building resilience, planning and executing the way out of the challenge in order to come out stronger.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year Sebastian! Wishing you lots of health, happiness, never ending passion, focus and determination for everything you want to accomplish this year and beyond ✨️
Very important to balance the faith in oneself that things can be overcome, with the self-awareness discipline to understand who one really is and what is really happening around us, to be able to modify that reality in a positive way