The Contrarian. chapter 3

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone"

I decided to create a section called THE CONTRARIAN. Here I reflect on popular phrases and take the opposite side of their fundamental premise.

Even if there are relative truths to be found in them, I propose a contrarian view to the universal wisdom they claim.

"Life Begins At The End of Your Comfort Zone"

Oh Yes! Because nothing screams louder "fun" and "enjoyment" like living in constant discomfort and perpetual anxiety!

Who needs a cozy blanket and a good book if you can regularly push yourself to the brink of mental breakdowns so you can claim “I’m alive!?”

Why bother enjoying simple pleasures of life when you can be miserable and stressed out all the time, but feel alive!!!

Who wants to camp by the side of a lake when you can hang from a precipice on a hammock pumping adrenaline, “alive”?

For instance, look at the picture below: “boring”, “dull”, “mundane”

Sarcasm aside, of course pushing oneself outside of one’s comfort zone is the path to growth.

What I have a problem with is the idea that you are not living if you are not outside of your comfort zone, that you are not alive if you are not standing on the other side of your fears.

Stepping outside of one’s comfort zone is essential both for personal and professional growth. It creates opportunities to face challenges that would otherwise not exist, helps develop new skills, builds confidence, shapes resilience and promotes anti-fragility not to just bounce back but to adapt and change with the changes.

Embracing new experiences provides new perspectives that enrich our analysis of the world we live in, that sophisticates our ability to ask questions to future problems.

Confronting one’s fears helps overcome limitations, reduce anxiety, build resilience and leads to personal growth and increased self-awareness. By facing our fears we gain control of portions of our life we did not have access to.

I always like to say to people starting a new position “Grow in the role and grow the role! That is what success looks like”

LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE TO EMBRACE GROWTH AND CONFRONT YOUR FEARS TO BREAK SELF IMPOSED LIMITATIONS.

However, I have a problem with the binary idea that the original phrase represents. Inside your comfort zone your life has not started, outside of it you are living it. Why?

Why are comfort zones bad? Why we need to create a constant sense that living on the edge is what means to feel alive? Don’t we see the level of stress and anxiety a lot of people live in? Maybe it has in part to do with pushing the individual to places we should not be pushing ourselves 24/7!

Your life begins wherever your values, your systems, your mental health, your goals, your family, your culture… give meaning to it.

Your life beings when you identify with who you really are, when you practice empathy and compassion, when you learn to take care of yourself to then know how to have a positive impact on others, when you make meaning, when you find purpose, when you never stop learning (about yourself first and foremost), when you know how to let go, when you take care of your mental health, when you build meaningful relationships, when you help build bridges, when you learn to be disciplined to achieve goals, when you are accountable for your actions, when you clear your thinking, when you have the freedom to enjoy a breakfast with your family and the choice to push your limits to achieve higher dreams.

The beginning of life cannot be defined by where you are standing relative to your circle of comfort, inside or outside. I see life as a journey in and out of the comfort zone.

We humans need emotional and psychological safety, we need to feel that we have a zone of comfort to step back into, to feel safe, to create. And we also need the courage to push out, learn new skills, confront old fears, feel the stretch that a new challenge present us with; ultimately increase capacity, make the circle bigger and feel again inside the comfort zone to rest, to recharge, to feel safe, to produce within known boundaries.

We humans need (more than ever) comfort in the bigger sense of the term, not laziness, not easy, but comfort to feel balanced.

Instead of constantly pushing ourselves to grow into more, it may be effective to focus on developing emotional well-being, seeking continuous self-improvement and developing healthy coping mechanisms to in the end create not just more productive but overall fulfilling lives not just for ourselves, but for the whole society we are part of and I strongly believe we have a common responsibility to make better.

Be mindful of who you are and of the responsibility it brings to the world.

So, let's all just take a deep breath, grab a cozy blanket, and remind ourselves that rather than debating between living inside or outside the comfort zone, we have the opportunity to work hard to expand the area of comfort so we can fit more things in.

P.S. Before I go, here you have “The Treat,” where I share some of the music that made me company while writing … Enjoy as you bid farewell to this post

“Lead yourself, Learn to live. Lead others, Learn to Build.'“

If you enjoyed reading this post consider subscribing to the newsletter, joining the community and sharing your thoughts.